Dear Mr. Smith,
Since we first contacted you on December 17th demanding ransom in the amount of one million dollars for your 19-year old son (we thought his name was Brian, but he has since informed us he goes by "Moonbeam"), you have failed to even acknowledge our attempts to reach you. Our subsequent attempts to contact you, even consistently reducing the ransom amount, have been ignored as well.
Since he has been under our incarceration these past three months, he has displayed no desire to leave, instead leaving the wrappers of the food we give him lying all over the floor, continuously asking us to "crank the tunes, dudes", and now is requesting a weekly allowance. Trying to get him to bathe is a useless endeavor as well. You can see how difficult our position has become.
We had planned on returning him, no ransom required, but we discovered that you had moved, and indeed had left no forwarding address. We think this is highly unfair, and circumvents all of the rules of kidnapping. Also, when we drove by your now empty house to just drop him off and out of our hair, Moonbeam refused to get out of the car, instead clinging to the door handle and crying.
Because this has not worked out the way I think any of us had wanted, we are now prepared to offer you $5,000 if you will please come and pick up Moonbeam, and if you come today, we will even add a bonus payment of $1,000 for your trouble.
We are kidnappers, not murderers, though some of the gang are starting to question whether it would be worth it in this case. Please contact us as soon as possible for the return of Moonbeam. Please. Really, please.
Signed,
The Kidnappers
Reply With Quote
