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Thread: Duke's AM cliff notes for 01/06/2012

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    Duke's AM cliff notes for 01/06/2012

    Good Morning, as usual, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that some of the powers to be are trying to put their differences aside in order to form a united front. The bad news is that, some blocs still will not consed to a united government and still bombing their own.

    We had hoped that when the U. S. pulled out that things would settle down, but that has not happened yet. But we are still hopeful that the government of Iraq will become settled and stable and the people will soon find stability in the government and with this stability, the people Iraq will become more prosperous and the RV will soon happen that will both help the country of Iraq and the people of Iraq and yes, when it RV;s, it will also be prosperous for those that hold the Iraqi dinar.

    Have a great day and RV soon.

    1. No currency auction today.

    2. Word of the Day: Friday January 6, 2012: sprat

    3. Tax filing deadline: IRS moves it to April 17

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    5. Iraq Shi'ite militia says ready to lay down weapons

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    6. President Talabani: the army must be kept free of any allegiances, only loyalty to the nation and the larger society in all their diversity and its components

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    7. Barham Salih: We are all hungry for an independent homeland will not risk losing our gains if we see a peaceful and democratic Iraq

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    8. Leader of the Sadrist movement withdraws from the celebration of the establishment of the army in protest at the presence of Jeffrey

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    P. S. Fighter Plane Warranty Card
    McDonnell Douglas

    Important! Important!

    Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

    1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

    First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

    Latitude________________________Longitude_________ _________________________

    Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc._________________

    2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

    _F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-117A Stealth _Classified

    3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

    4. Serial Number____________________

    5. Please check where this product was purchased:

    _Received as Gift/Aid Package
    _Catalog Showroom
    _Sleazy Arms Broker
    _Mail Order
    _Discount Store
    _Government Surplus

    6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

    _Heard loud noise, looked up
    _Store Display
    _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
    _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
    _Was attacked by one

    7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

    _Recommended by salesperson
    _ McDonnell Douglas Reputation
    _Advanced Weapons Systems
    _Back-Room Politics
    _Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

    _North America
    _Central/South America
    _Aircraft Carrier
    _Middle East
    _Asia/Far East
    _Misc. Third-World Countries

    9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

    Product Own Intend to purchase
    Color TV
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

    _Crazed (Islamic)
    _Crazed (Other)
    _Corrupt (Latin American)
    _Corrupt (Other)

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

    _Suitcases of Cocaine
    _Oil Revenues
    _Deficit Spending
    _Personal Check
    _Credit Card
    _Ransom Money
    _Traveler's Check

    12. Occupation You Your Spouse

    Middle Management
    Eccentric Billionaire
    Defense Minister/General

    13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

    Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
    Default on Loans
    Black Market/Smuggling
    Watching Sports on TV
    Household Pets
    Crushing Rebellions
    Fashion Clothing
    Border Disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

    PP. SS. Grinch Test
    How to Tell if You're a Grinch

    This is a set of essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for Christmas and your New Year's resolutions:

    1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).

    2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out).

    3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points).

    4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

    5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends (5 points for each infraction).

    6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas Day (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

    7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party).

    8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own (Southern California only, others ignore: 5 points).

    9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

    10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no (20 points).

    Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100:

    20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
    30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
    50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.
    The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep. Robert Frost

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to Duke For This Useful Post:

    minichaser (01-06-2012)

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